When things got quiet on the Silent Island of Crow, the Four Magical Royalties often made their own fun by getting into fights.

Today's fight happened to be a pillow fight! The four of them attempted to knock each other senseless with pillows in the first round, before quickly springing apart.

Ivanova, giggling like a maniac, leaped onto a bookcase with an armful of pillows and pelted the others from there. Yanna ducked the pillows as she ran over to the bookcase. and before Ivanova noticed, tipped it over. Ivanova landed on the ground with a thump, then scampered away from the falling bookcase. Yanna giggled and threw more pillows at her.

Syrenna rolled her eyes as she stood in the corner, a pillow in each hand, watching the psychos go at it.

Ivanova hurled a bunch of pillows at Yanna and Syrenna, giggling like an idiot. Yanna tackled Ivanova and held her down as best as she could while beating her in the head with a pillow.

Ivanova, giggling crazily, grabbed some nearby pillows and smacked Yanna with them, before screaming out "KINKY!!"

"What were you thinking?" Yanna screamed and beaned her with the pillows again.

Emperor Beluga took a picture and posted it all over the net, writing the title SEX CRAZED at the top.

"Emperor, that is a good pic of them! Do you think that you can somehow 'fix' the pic?" Syrenna asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked, a knowing smirk curling across his face.

"Wellllll, they should be wearing different 'clothes', ya know, like what La Vie En Rose sells!" Syrenna giggled. The Emperor grinned and set to work. Yanna and Ivanova were still beating each other down, oblivious to what was going on on the net. Syrenna threw a pillow at them, pegging them both in the head at the same time.

After being hit with the pillow, Ivanova turned and started to fling pillows at Syrenna. Yanna caught sight of what the Emperor was doing, and with a scream, she launched herself at the computer, attempting to tackle both in one shot.

Lady Syrenna, almost unable to see the Emperor about to be attacked by Yanna because of the pillows, quickly summoned vines to sprout from the ground and pull herself and the Emperor to safety. They giggled from the top of the vines and the Emperor clicked SUBMIT.

Ivanova smacked Yanna upside the head for getting them in such a predicament. Yanna snarled and hit her back. "It was you yelling 'kinky' that prolly put the idea in his warped little mind to begin with!" She screamed.

"Well what the hell were you doing, straddling on me and all?" Ivanova growled back.

"I wasn't straddling you," Yanna shot back, "I pinned you to the ground! That's all, you perverted nut!"

The Emperor and the Lady giggled as the two argued, watching as the number of hits on the new Islander porno site started to speed into the hundreds.

"Good job, Emperor Beluga! It looks great! Well, for what it is!" Syrenna complimented.

"Pinned me!?!" Ivanova screamed, "Well it sure as hell looked like you were trying to rape me, you sick fuck!"

"I'm the sick one!?" Yanna howled, "No one can do anything around here without you guys perverting it!"

Simultaneously, everyone stopped and shrugged their shoulders in agreement before Ivanova and Yanna got back to their rubbishing.

"Holy hell man! You jumped on me and pinned me to the floor while we were having a pillow fight!!" Ivanova screamed at Yanna, "Do you have any idea how much that sounds like a scene from a porno movie!?! I mean, look at it!!" She said, pointing to the computer where the Emperor had put up the picture.

"Yes, but he edited it, because I sure as hell didn't do THAT!" Yanna pointed at one very nasty part, "And you know it!"

The Emperor grinned. "I'm so talented! I think I did a rather marvelous job at making you two look somewhat pornographic!"

Syrenna held back a burst of giggles.

"I'll show you talent!" Yanna shoved him over and put her blade to his neck while growling.

As Yanna distracted the Emperor and Syrenna, Ivanova ran off to find a computer with which to hack into the site where the picture was being stored, and delete it.

Yanna's distraction took on the form of her kicking the Emperor's ass.

Syrenna smiled as she watched the scene unfold, knowing she had a critical part of the two's embarrassment hidden in a safe spot.

Ivanova burst into her home and started up her computer. She quickly found the site with the offending picture on it and deleted the entire page. She gave a sigh of relief, thinking the embarrassment was over.

She was suddenly overcome with paranoia, and so she brought up a search engine to see if the picture was elsewhere on the internet.

It turned out there were over a million sites carrying the picture. Saying a few select swear words, she stormed out of her home and over to where Yann and the Emperor were still fighting.

"YOU PUT IT UP ALL OVER THE INTERNET!?!"

Not knowing that the Emperor had done that, Syrenna burst out laughing, tears rolled down her face as she collapsed on the ground.

The Emperor let out a strangled giggle. Strangled as Yanna was still throttling him.

Seeing this throttling, Ivanova got an idea. Whipping out a camera, Ivanova snapped a photo and then ran off to do a little 'photo editing' of her own. Knowing what she was doing, Syrenna laughed harder. But the throttling continued.

Soon the editing was done, and the photo was plastered all over the internet. And still the throttling did not stop.

Syrenna and Ivanova sat at the computer and watched as the hits grew and grew. The throttling went on and on, heedless to the two's laughter.

"Should we make them stop?" Syrenna asked.

"Nah, I think we'll make a little amateur video!" Ivanova replied, holding up her camera.

Syrenna broke out laughing, which caused Yanna to look up, giving the Emperor the chance to throttle her back. As the pair throttled each other, Ivanova taped everything she saw. Syrenna did some voice work into the mic of the camera, explaining what they were doing, and perhaps saying.

After a while, Ivanova and Syrenna got bored, so they scampered off to edit the video for maximum embarrassment!/

Returning a few hours later, Ivanova went about setting up a big screen and a video player as Syrenna beat Yanna and the Emperor off of each other with a stick.

"What's going on?" Yanna asked, breathless. The Emperor was still mad and tried to lunge at the Queen of Caves, only to be stopped by his curiosity of the big screen and the player.

Windy, Maris, Quirky, the Lover, and Sally came out of the surrounding trees. Syrenna weaved each of them a chair of soft vines.

"So, what's the show about?" The Lover asked, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Yanna went pale. "Show? What are you talking about? IVANOVA, WHAT SHOW!? TELL ME!!!"

Yanna's voice took on a strange, demonic pitch as she hovered a few feet off the ground, arms outstretched and ice crackling through the claws of her hands. The room went dark as mercury dripped and oozed through the walls, while the floor below shook.

Syrenna giggled, "Oh come on Yanna, we've seen your special effects before."

Yanna twitched and fumed as the film began to play. The movie shown caused great amounts of laughter from the Islanders, all save for Yanna and the Emperor.

The pair of them were very pissed.

"Oh, Emperor! Put that there!"

"I see you like the sight of my 'royal scepter'!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL THE TWO OF YOU!!!" Yanna screamed before she and the Emperor chased the offending Islanders around the room and out the door, sending objects flying everywhere.

Ivanova and Syrenna found it hard to keep up the running pace, for the two of them could not stop laughing. Yanna, followed by the Emperor, were close on their heels.

Ivanova began quoting various scenes from the video to distract them. "Faster, faster! Straddle me! Throttle me! Submerge your beluga in my bay!"

Syrenna nearly fell dead of laughter.

Since the four of them were too busy screaming and cursing, or laughing and quoting, they did not see where they were headed. They ran headlong into the forest, straight into the deepest, darkest, scariest part of the wooded realm.

Syrenna suddenly stopped dead. She grabbed Ivanova by the scruff of her shirt and yanked her backwards. The Hell Queen fell to the ground.

"What the hell are you-"

Her upcoming swears were muffled by Syrenna's hand.

"Shhhhh! Don't make any sudden moves! You don't want to upset anything here!" Syrenna hissed, removing her hand from Ivanova's mouth before she helped her up.

Yanna and the Emperor came running up, screaming. Syrenna threw her hand out at them and two vines wrapped around their mouths and silenced them.

"We're lucky we didn't go too far," Syrenna whispered, "These are dangerous parts!" She removed the vines from Yanna and Beluga's mouths and she began to lead the three out of the woods and into a grassy furrow near an open field.

"Hey! Why did you stop the chase?!" Yanna pouted, stamping her foot down on the grassy ground.

"Because there are some very unpleasant things lurking in that part of the forest!" Syrenna shot back.

Of course, this got everyone intrigued.

"What kind of things?" The Emperor asked.

"Scary, horrible things," Syrenna replied, "Things not meant to see the light of day! You must never go in there!"

"Well, now that you've said that, then of course we're going to go in there!" Ivanova said with a little giggle, "You might as well save yourself a crapload of grief and show us around right now. Get our curiosity over the place killed and make sure we don't disturb something we shouldn't ought to disturb!"

"You shouldn't be disturbing anything! You and everyone else should not be here!" Syrenna snapped, "Look, let me make this plain for you guys, really simple: NO! And let me translate that for you, Ivanova: NO FUCKING WAY, YOU VAGINA WHORE MONGLER! Do you all understand me?" Syrenna asked, crossing her arms.

Everyone was silent but their eyes said it all. One way or another, they were going to explore that creepy part of the Mystical Forest. Syrenna sighed, closing her eyes momentarily.

"Okay, you follow me and don't you dare bloody go off track, or I'll let them kill you, do you understand? We go in and we come out. I will not take you to the center of the forest. You will not go to the center of the forest. I'll tell you what lies there, but none of you are to dare go there, or there will be big trouble! I mean it! Leave it alone! I can not take you to most places in there, for the sprites and Erinyes will not allow even me in so easily, let alone you. So stay close, keep your mouths shut, if you need to speak, then whisper. If you see something moving in the woods, move very slowly and let me know as soon as possible. Got that?" Syrenna hissed.

Ivanova yawned, "Yeah yeah, blah blah. Can we go in now, mother?"

She began walking towards the forest, but Syrenna grabbed her arm and slammed her to the ground.

"This is not a game, Hell Queen! I'm not supposed to let others in there at all! Just do as I said and I will show you the parts of the forest that I can." Syrenna growled.

Ivanova picked herself up. "Okay, fine!" She grumbled.

Syrenna shook her head then looked towards the dark trees. "I should have kept watch of where we were headed, we should not be here. At least this is the least of the five." She whispered to herself. Yanna overheard.

The others gained their mature sanity then gathered behind Syrenna. She passed under some tangled willows with the others behind her.

The sights and sounds were surprisingly eerie, and there was a somewhat uneasy feeling all around.

Something blue streaked past in between Yanna's and Ivanova's heads and as it passed, bloody slashes appeared on their cheeks. Syrenna stepped to the side, and pulling her knife, she caught the blue thing between the blade and a tree trunk.

The others looked over her shoulders and saw that the blue thing was some kind of bird with yellow beady eyes sitting low on its face, just atop where the flat pointy beak began. Its three legs flailed around as Syrenna pushed it between one of the flat sides of her knife and the bark of the dark tree.

She began talking to it in the Silent Animal Language. She suddenly made a deep breathy sound in the back of her throat and the bird snapped its toothy beak at her. She growled and held out one wing with her free hand. The others could see sharp jagged claws between each feather.

"That feathered bitch!" Ivanova whispered as she wiped blood from her cheek. Yanna stared at the evil bird.

Syrenna swiftly whipped the knife over the claws and the tips of them fell to the ground. The bird hissed. Syrenna did the same to the other wing before she let it free. It flew off making a horrid noise.

"What was that about?" The Emperor whispered.

"That was a Yu'gul bird. They're very ill tempered and nasty. Sorry about that. He was being rather rude to me as well, and as a punishment I trimmed his claws for him." Syrenna whispered back.

"Syrenna, what did you mean by this is the least of the five?" Yanna asked suddenly. Syrenna took a step back.

"You heard that? Of course you heard that. Well, there are five really dangerous forest realms I must keep hidden and safe. This one is called Karhemtha. Tis the least of them, the 'safest' of the five. The next is Pylamlik. The third is Rygh-brynn. The second is Quesbeluminnin. And the first and most dangerous is Xentyon. Quesbeluminnin is almost equal to Xentyon in that it is haunted. But enough of that! You wish to know of this one. It is the only one you could enter freely. The others have 'gates' protecting them, and due to the terrors that lurk within, I will never unlock those gates!"

Syrenna slunk down suddenly and motioned for the others to zip their mouths and follow her.

They moved silently through the dark forest, the silence cut by strange and terrifying noises.

Yanna was becoming quite clingy, and Ivanova had a sudden urge to scream at the top of her lungs. She held the urge in check though, as it would most likely piss Lady Syrenna off, then she wouldn't show them the rest of the realm.

"GRRRRRAAAAAHHHGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Syrenna turned around and glared at Ivanova. "It wasn't me!" The Hell Queen whispered. The strange cry once more rent the air.

"All of you, draw your weapons!" Syrenna hissed, "If it attacks, then we will need them!"

"If what attacks?" The Emperor asked.

Syrenna grabbed him by the shoulders and slowly turned him around.

Behind him, there stood nothing.

He made a confused face, as did the others. Lady Syrenna was watching something, regardless. Her eyes moved with it. She slowly lowered herself to the ground and motioned for the others to follow.

"If he doesn't go away, prepare to use your weapons, but don't run. These creatures like hunting games." She whispered.

"I still don't see it!" The Emperor Beluga said, louder than intended. There was another loud roar.

There was a sudden hot breath upon them from overhead, and the four looked up.

Still, they saw nothing, until Lady Syrenna reached up and threw a fierce punch. Before them appeared a red-eyed crocodile-skinned large beast with long grass-like hair protruding out of its head, back, and tail.

Yanna screamed and instantly unfurled her wings, crashing off into the woods, making a huge echo of noise and a rather big trail of broken bushes. The beast smiled and, turning invisible, crept off after her, unnoticeable and unheard.

Lady Syrenna clenched her teeth and held in an explosion of anger, her face turning red. "Great! Just great! Now we have to find Yanna and the Ginch! He's much faster than her, and not to mention LESS NOISY! He's gonna kill her! That is, if I don't get her first! Come on guys, let's follow the trail!"

The three pissed off Islanders followed the trail for some miles. It was starting to look as though the Ginch had swallowed Yanna whole and left no sign of her. That is, until, they heard a scream.

The three rushed off towards it and soon came upon the hunter and hunted. The Ginch was invisible, but there was a flailing Yanna hanging in midair, seemingly being held by his clawed hand.

Syrenna used her forest power and changed a nearby ugly flower into a bow, and another ugly flower into an arrow. She took aim low at the invisible strangler and let the arrow fly. It hit and the Ginch instantly appeared to their eyes. She had pierced his under arm, where the softer tissue was.

Yanna fell to the ground and began running again.

"Yanna, you fuck!" Ivanova screamed out. She made ready to peg the Queen of Caves in the foot with her knife in hopes of stopping her hysterical running, when Yanna flared her wings out in a distraction target and dove into the cover of trees again.

"ASS BITCH!" Ivanova shouted in frustration.

Syrenna instantly sent up a net of vines around each Islander as the beast was distracted by his wound. Syrenna sensed where Yanna was and constructed a vine net around her too.

"What the hell?" Ivanova demanded.

"He won't find us now, just be quiet!" Syrenna hissed, motioning for all of them to shut up.

The beast suddenly remembered his prey and began looking around for Yanna. He began sniffing the air, coming ever closer to where Yanna was trapped.

Syrenna wriggled her fingers at the ground and instantly blue and brown flowers sprouted up, letting off a pungent stink. The beast cocked his head then turned around and waddled out of sight, nursing his wound as he went.

"Awww sick! What gross flowers!" Yanna yelled out to Syrenna. The Ginch stood straight and began walking back towards where they stood in hiding.

"Fucking Yanna!" The Emperor screamed out.

Syrenna motioned for them all to shut their mouths and to stay motionless. The beast sniffed around once more then, becoming uninterested, went off again, disappearing into the darkness.

The vines released them and right away, Ivanova pulled her sword and headed towards Yanna. Syrenna was quick on her heels.

"I bloody knew something like this would happen! I bloody knew it! And what do I do? Bloody take them into the woods!" She muttered to herself as she prepared to stop whatever violence Ivanova was prepared to unleash.

"What in the bloody fucking hell Yanna?" Ivanova hissed. "Syrenna'll never show us anything if you keep being stupid and making a crapload of big ass noises!"

"Well excuse me! It's not my fault that the fucking Grinch or whatever the hell it was had a taste for Yannaflesh!" Yanna shot back.

The Emperor stomped his foot and crossed his arms. "It wouldn't have even gone after you if you hadn't run off like an ass!"

"Enough!" Syrenna growled. "I'll show you the rest of this part, then we're leaving. No more yelling or fighting, or running off away from the others while stomping around noisily! Now just shut up and follow me!"

She led them through a variety of strange foliage ranging from small maroon flowers to tall orange thorny bushes. As they wove their way through a thicket of tall yellow and pale green grass, Ivanova stepped in something.

"Aw, shit!" She hissed in a low voice.

"Literally!" Yanna giggled, covering her nose.

The Emperor gazed at the pile in interest. "What kind of animal made that?" He asked.

Syrenna glanced down. "A Bóín, or in English, a Laedie Bugg." She answered casually.

"There is no way that this was made by a small bug!" Ivanova said while furiously wiping her boot in the dirt.

Syrenna looked down at the large mound again. She knelt down and looked up at the others. "Yes, it was a Laedie Bugg. See this skin here? T'was that of a Margle Toad. They are quite the evil little things, and their teeth are hard to remove from the skin. They are the Laedie Bugg's favourite food. But this lump over here, I do believe it was the skull of a large fish. You see, they don't digest skin, thick bones and large teeth, beaks or fur."

The others were a bit disgusted and confused as to how a bug could produce such a big pile of shit, until the Emperor asked, "How could a bug produce such a big pile of shit?"

Syrenna smiled. "I'll show you. These creatures are mostly docile, but please don't provoke them, or interfere in their hunting," She stood and turned to lead them off, but stopped and turned back, "Because other sorts of bones have been found in their feces, and by that I mean human."

She smiled and started off quietly. Yanna crossed her arms. "I don't like the sounds of this. A huge round bug big enough to be eating people? Doesn't sound right." She whispered in a low tone.

"Who the hell cares! We get to see strange killing things!" Ivanova giggled. The Emperor rolled his eyes. They all followed after the Forest Queen.

After passing from the tall grass they came into a boggy cluster of trees. All around had the smell of swamp. Green sludge and yellow slime lined the bottoms of trees and the tops of shallow pools. Low mist swirled in branches of trees and hovered around the grasses in the eerie pond to their left.

Syrenna motioned for the others to kneel down low at the base of a few close-grown willow-type trees. A loud hoarse groan type sound echoed through the stale air. The noise was startling, causing the Emperor, Yanna, and Ivanova to jump a little.

"What was that?" Yanna rasped, leaning towards the Forest Queen.

"That was a Margle Toad. Now wait and listen."

They all listened. The moaning sound came again, but was stopped short by the sound of a splash, a crunch and a rustle of reeds and bushes.

"I think I see something over there. Look, ripples." Yanna whispered, peeping from behind the tree trunk. Suddenly, Ivanova started to scream. All looked at her to see a fat, hairy orange-assed spider with wings, hovering in front of her face. Several more hovered down from above them.

Ivanova pulled her knife and started swinging as the others flailed her arms around. Syrenna squashed one against the tree behind her, although disgusted about having spider guts on her hand, she didn't seem to be upset about the screaming and flailing. The Emperor screamed out and mushed a spider into his shoulder. It had bitten him and now there was a swollen bump much like a mosquito bite, and just as itchy, forming on his skin. After a few moments of screaming and flailing, all the flying spiders were dead.

Catching their breath, the Four Magical Royalties looked up and saw there, floating two feet above the soft ground, held up by noiseless wings, was a toned, slender woman. She was a dark grey colour with black colouring at her cheeks and forehead, neck, knees, feet, and hands, elbows and everywhere else that was indented, like her leg and arm muscles. She had antenna (for intense hearing) as well as small round ears (for normal hearing). Her hair was jet black and shiny and her eyes were red with vertical black slits for pupils. Her wings were the same as a lady bug's wings, red with black spots. She was wearing nothing but thin black vines around one leg, her stomach, her upper chest and one arm.

Syrenna bowed, as did the others. The woman cocked her head. Another being floated up behind the other, though this one had red hair and black eyes with red slit pupils and she had a leg of a toad protruding out of the corner of her mouth. She looked the four over then pulled the leg into her mouth with her tongue. The black haired one made a soft buzz in the back of her throat and made little jerks with her head. Syrenna smiled and answered in the same fashion.

"These are the Laedie Buggs. She asked about you guys. I said I'm giving you a tour and will leave soon. But she has invited us to a meal." Syrenna said to the others after a few moments.

"She means food, not a meal of us, right?" Yanna asked, frowning. Syrenna smiled.

"Yes of course, for we have done them well." She answered.

"What do you mean?" The Emperor asked, scratching furiously at his shoulder and trying not to look at the Laedie Buggs' nakedness.

"Those spiders contain a histamine that is lethal to them, though to us it is much the same as a mosquito histamine, though a little more intense. Well, we have just killed a whole bunch of them- known as Kyless Pendors- so they see us as humble beings friendly towards them." Syrenna smiled mischievously, "Though I do wonder what you all will think of their food. Tis not like our own. But we still must be careful, like I said before, this is a dangerous forest. We can't upset them or offend them because we could easily become the meal. They still see you as outsiders. This is a very rare thing, them inviting others to lunch."

"I'm always up for trying new things!" Yanna said happily, "And like Syrenna said, we can't offend them."

Syrenna glared at them all. "I mean it! If you do, it would mean death!"

"I know!" replied Yanna, "I was serious. But after this, what do you say we stick to the friendlier parts of the forests? Preferably one's without really touchy hosts?"

"Yes, I would have it no other way. I would have had it that way to begin with if it weren't for your curiosity!" Syrenna scolded. She looked to The Emperor and Ivanova. "Do you two understand?" She questioned them.

"Yeah yeah, we understand!" Ivanova said impatiently, "I'll be a perfect gentlewoman!" She added with a mock bow. The others merely looked at her as if she were insane.

"Well I, for one, will actually be a perfect gentlewoman," the Emperor said, making an elegant bow before his expression grew furious and he shouted, "MAN! A gentleman!"

While Yanna and Ivanova laughed, Syrenna glared at them all threateningly. After a few moments she voiced to the Laedie Buggs that they would stay for the meal, and soon they were being led into the dark muddy forest.

They followed the Laedie Bugs through the shadow cloaked woods for quite some time. The Emperor was not too impressed with all the dirty mud, but Ivanova thought the dark was fun. Soon they came to the dwelling of the Laedie's.

A group emerged from the moss clad trees and they gathered around the Four Magical Royalties. One of the two that led them here spoke to the others in a series of clicks and coos. They were all scarcely clothed. A shapely Laedie Bugg approached them. The Emperor's face turned the darkest red that was possible as his eyes fell upon her. She conversed with the other two Buggs and the Forest Queen.

Soon, the Islanders were led to a massive table decorated in swamp flowers and grey moss. Everything was prepared. The Islanders took their seats and were joined by all the high status Buggs. The shapely one sat across from the Emperor.

Ivanova smiled and elbowed him in the side, winking. He hissed at her.

The head Laedie Bugg rose and said a few words before she sat down. Syrenna leaned in towards the others. "If you don't like the food, they do not expect you to eat it. Just be polite and don't spit it out, whatever you do. That would insult them greatly. Just relax and enjoy yourselves!" She smiled.

Soon the food came around on covered platters. Everyone was set with a plate and once the waitresses left, they opened the lids to find.

"A BIG FAT SPIDER!!!" Ivanova screamed, leaping from her seat.

The first course was a Sepitine Spider. It was huge and quite creepy looking, but it had a most wonderful taste, however hideous it was.

"I'm not touching this!" Ivanova half screamed. Syrenna grabbed her and sat her back down. "Ivanova, you don't have to eat it! Just put your fork in its side and they will consider it as a dislike and will not be offended!"

The Laedie Buggs were silent, staring at the two. Syrenna conversed with them, telling them that everything was fine and that this was not the food that Ivanova regularly ate, so she was unsure of it. The Laedies accepted her explanation and, giggling to themselves, began eating.

Yanna closed her eyes and took a big mouthful. "Hey!" She squealed, "If you don't look at the thing, it tastes really good!"

Syrenna smiled and began eating. As the drinks came around, Syrenna leaned to them again, "Oh, same goes for the drink, what Yanna just said!"

Yanna made sure not to look at the drinks as they were served. She ate her food followed by gulps of the drink with her eyes scrunched shut. The Laedie Buggs looked curiously at her and, amused, whispered among themselves.

Syrenna was quite enjoying herself and she was impressed by Yanna, who she thought would have been the worst of the group. The Emperor, she guessed, was too busy staring at the Laedie Bugg to even notice the taste of the food he was so nervously consuming. Ivanova sat impatiently, waiting for something better to be served.

Unfortunately though, Ivanova had forgotten to eat that day, so she was feeling very hungry, and despite her loathing of spiders, it did smell delicious.

"Hey Syrenna?" She whispered. The Forest Queen turned to her with a questioning glance.

"Would they get offended if I mash my spider into an unrecognisable pulp?" Ivanova asked.

Syrenna swallowed her bite and shook her head. "No, just so long as you don't send it flying everywhere or eat with your hands. The Laedie's are very particular about that."

Hearing the good news, Ivanova went at it with her knife, chopping up the spider until it was a uniform paste, like mashed potatoes. Ivanova smiled and began to eat her meal, and the Laedie Bugs laughed.

Yanna finished her meal and opened her eyes. "That was pretty good," She said, "Tell them thanks for me."

"Yeah, same for me!" Ivanova said, setting down her knife and fork.

Syrenna smiled and addressed the Laedie Buggs. She began conversing in that strange clicking and twitching language and soon their faces lit up with smiles. The Laedie Buggs rose and bowed their welcomes before one of them waved over another group of servers before she and the others sat back down again. What was brought to their plates next looked kinda like a potato.

"So, is this a plant, or some kind of larval thing?" Ivanova asked as the dish was set before them.

Syrenna merely giggled, "Just try it!"

Ivanova looked at the thing dubiously, but nonetheless she tried a bite. It was very sweet!

Once everyone had taken a bite and had swallowed, Syrenna smiled. "Tis an embryo of a Bellieouce Beast. And I know that it probably doesn't sound that gross, but you haven't seen what it looks like when it is full grown!"

"Whatever!" Ivanova said, happily eating her embryo. "It could look like a giant steamy piece of crap when it's grown for all I care, but damn! Does it ever taste good!"

"I know. I'm glad you like it!" Syrenna smiled, taking a big bite.

"So, what does it look like full grown?" Yanna asked, a little wary.

Syrenna scrunched up her nose. "Well, it looks like a huge fat slimy maggot with big eyes, sharp teeth, and an elephant's nose!"

Yanna looked slightly disgusted but Ivanova merely giggled and continued to eat her desert. Once again, the Emperor was too caught up eyeing the shapely Laedie Bugg to notice what he was putting in his mouth. Frowning at his antics, Yanna closed her eyes again to consume her food.

When they had all finished their desert, Yanna and Ivanova looked to Syrenna, as if to say, "So, what's next on this little tour?"

They watched her eyes as she looked to her right towards a misty arch that led under what appeared to be dead twisted trees. She smiled and so did they.

"This looks like fun!" Ivanova giggled as Syrenna got out of her seat and thanked the Laedie Buggs in the silent language of the forest.

Syrenna silently led them towards the misty arch. "Now guys, mud is a requirement for passing through here. If you don't wear it, you will be smelled out and eaten!" She giggled, stopping before a mud patch.

Yanna surprised them all by leaping into a nearby mud hole and rolling around till she was head-to-toe mud. She giggled and climbed out.

Syrenna and Ivanova shrugged and leapt in after her.

They emerged to find the Emperor still standing there, spick and span.

"Come on, would you rather stay clean than stay alive?" Ivanova asked jokingly.

The Emperor seriously considered her question.

"How about I put it this way," Syrenna said, coming to stand behind him, "The creatures on the other side of this portal will smell you without the cover of mud, and they would tear you limb from limb before you could so much as blink, gobbling you up with their huge, nasty teeth! In doing so, all your blood will get everywhere, including your clothes, not to mention how they'd get all slobber covered when they chomp you up! And then in ten or so hours, when all your assorted pieces had worked their way through their bacteria-infested digestive tracts, you would emerge back into the world as shit! Is this what you want to have happen to your glorious person?"

The Emperor shuddered in disgust at the thought, sighing, "No, I suppose I do not want to be torn asunder."

Closing his eyes and turning around, he spread his arms and let himself fall backwards into the mud pit.

Once everyone was muddied up, they submerged into the mystic haze of the arch, Syrenna in the lead and Emperor at the rear.

The mist shrouded them instantly and it seemed like they had just stepped into another world. The gnarled grey silver trees loomed hungrily above and around them, looking much like out-reaching hands of goblins or some kind of weird evil creature. Syrenna smiled widely. These kinds of places were where she loved to play.

"Neat," Yanna whispered, "Where are we going?"

Ivanova was giggling quietly to herself. Places like this were fun!

"Let us continue and find out!" Syrenna said, leading the way.

Syrenna led them along the narrow winding path, the forest seeming to close menacingly around them. It was all Ivanova could do to stop herself from giggling. The more gnarled and deathly trees quivered randomly as they passed and Syrenna told the others to stay clear of them. Ivanova wondered very much why. Of course, being told not to go near the trees made Ivanova want to leap bodily onto them, but she held herself in check, or else Syrenna would kick her out of the forest.

Something screamed wildly from their left, as if it were in a serious amount of pain, startling them all.

"That's a Willinnee, that is their natural sound." Syrenna giggled.

They soon came to a big thicket of oddly twisted trees. Pale grey and puke yellow mushrooms grew all around. They looked like they had warts on them. Yanna cringed as she watched one of the wards pop and ooze out brown thick liquid. "What the hell is that?" She gagged.

"Lypuss Wedling chrum. It helps cure warts, chicken pox, some skin infections as well as eye and ear infections, rabies, and coughing, and other such annoying things. It tastes like potato skins even though it smells like rotting shit!" The Forest Queen giggled, "But be careful when it turns orange, that is poison."

Ivanova, gazing around at the boggy mushroom tree place, watched as fog passed slowly on the ground around some of the mushrooms. Unknowingly, she backed up into one of the big trees. It began to scream out in howling scary laughter as the bark began to twist and shift. Slightly startled, Ivanova leapt away from the tree. After realising it was making the horrible laugh, she couldn't help but grin. "Finally, something with a laugh evil enough to compare to mine!" She giggled.

Yanna was thoroughly creeped out by the cackling tree, but at the same time amused by Ivanova's joy at finding something with a laugh that rivalled her own.

"What's this tree called, then?" Ivanova asked as the tree continued to laugh maniacally.

Syrenna smiled, "It's called Gnothaichean."

"Cheery sounding thing!" Ivanova giggled as the tree continued to laugh maniacally.

Syrenna smiled. "Just wait till we get deeper in; the trees do more than just laugh!"

"Do they claw? Do they bite? Do they sing? Do they kill?" Ivanova asked, cackling with glee.

Syrenna smiled but said nothing.

"SQUEEE!! I bet they do!" Ivanova shouted, jumping up and down and giggling happily. Yanna didn't say anything, but walked a little closer to the Forest Queen as they went. Ivanova cracked a big, evil grin. This scary forest was fun!

Beside them, a flower barked then turned and ran away from them. "So, are we in the scariest part of the forest yet?" Ivanova asked as Syrenna led them deeper into her realm.

"Does it look like it? Syrenna giggled quietly, "You'll see when we get there!"

Ivanova giggled with anticipation.

After a fair bit of wandering, they reached another misty arch, and Syrenna raised her hand to stop them, turning to give each of them a deadly serious glare.

"This is the threshold for the most dangerous part of this forest. The horrors beyond here are not something any of you are to take lightly, especially you, Ivanova!" She glared at the Hell Queen, who merely held up her hands in surrender.

"Before we pass through, I need each of you to swear to me," Syrenna continued, more serious than ever, "Swear that you will never again ask to come to the forbidden parts of my realm, for they are forbidden for a reason! The beings that live there are terrible, ferocious, and not in the fun ways! Things could have gone much worse than they have, and the things beyond this arch? They will be able to kill you. I cannot control them. None can. So swear to me, here and now, that you will never return, and never ask me to bring you here."

The other three muttered vague affirmatives. Syrenna scowled, saying, "Not good enough! Yanna, promise me!"

"Ugh, fine," Yanna said with a roll of her eyes, "I swear upon my prowess as a warrior that I will never bother you about the forbidden parts of your realm again!"

Syrenna nodded before turning to glare at Ivanova.

"Alright! I give you my blood oath that I'll never ask you to bring me here, nor seek it out on my own, for any reason." Ivanova said with a measure of solemnity none of them had ever heard from her before.

Finally all eyes turned to the Emperor.

He puffed himself up indignantly, saying, "I swear on my most luxurious fabrics that I will never set foot in this place again! The allure of the macabre cannot make up for the filthy conditions here!"

"Alright," Syrenna said, breathing a sigh of relief, "We may now proceed."

One by one, they stepped through the misty arch, unsure of what they would find.

Inside, there was more fog, but with each step it grew brighter and brighter, to the point where they all needed to squint and shield their eyes from the glow.

Finally they stepped out onto non-swampy ground, though it took a few moments for their eyes to adjust. But what they saw before them left them speechless.

For a few seconds, at least.

"THIS IS JUST BELUGA BAY!?" The Emperor howled, waving a hand at the scene before them. They were on a low hill between the Mystical Forest and the Emperor's domain. Ivanova spun around suddenly, and saw the arch they had stepped through vanish into nothing.

"IT SURE AS SHIT IS!!!" Syrenna screamed back, "Did you honestly think, after the stunts you pulled in there, that I would bring you to a more dangerous place?!"

"So the mud was for nothing?!" Yanna growled.

The Emperor whirled on Syrenna, eyes wide in horror as he whispered, "The mud was for nothing?"

"No, it was for punishment!" Syrenna growled, "For not taking my warnings seriously!"

Ivanova scoffed, crossing her arms and giving the Forest Queen a sly glance. "And very clever, getting us to swear to never pester you about the forbidden parts of your realm!"

"I have to protect you idiots somehow!" Syrenna snapped.

Yanna threw her arms in the air in frustration, shouting, "Well I'm gonna go home and clean up, I guess, since I'm not going on a magical forest adventure!" Before she took to the skies.

"Oh good idea!" The Emperor shouted before scampering off home himself. Ivanova was quick to leave herself, muttering darkly under her breath.

All too soon Syrenna was left on her own, and she collapsed onto the ground with a sigh. Above her, Windy was playing with the clouds, forming them into obscene shapes.

"Never. Fucking. Again." Syrenna said out loud, "These people are almost more trouble than they're worth! Almost."

The End